Stressing out in day to day life.

I often hear people saying that motherhood is the hardest job in the world. I wonder if that's true? I am a mother and I love being one, but I find that some day's I feel it would be so much easier if I was on my own. Now I can hear all of the "oh that's not a really nice thing to say". But I am allowed to feel this way, am I not. Or is it something we just don't talk about.

Please don't get me wrong I love my children dearly, but I feel sometimes I left MY life behind five years ago.

I have a husband who is rarely home, a family who is to consumed with their own lives (like we all are) to REALLY listen. Or maybe its UNDERSTAND. I'm the only sibling with children so far, maybe that's why?

Yes I'm lonely, yes I get sad, yes I get mad, I feel like there was supposed to be more to me.

This all sounds very doom and gloom but corrected me if allot of you don't feel the same way, at some point, why is it so important not too let people see we are having a hard time or a bad day.

It was very unwise of me to believe that my life will begin when...... well I know now that my life has begun, I'm just not living how I want to. I do want to be a mum, I do want to be a wife, I do want to learn knew things and find my place in the world.

But most of all I don't want to wait to live my life, I once knew of somebody who said that they felt like they had just started living. They were on there deathbed.

Its a sad thought. But its a reality.

At this moment my new life begins, the life I dream about. At 4-45pm on the 24th January 2009.